Thoughts on Being Comfy-Cozy

I have a thing for over-sized sweaters. During college I lived close to an ultra-cheap thrift store and collected an overabundance of them for around $0.50 each. They were just too wonderful to resist! (Plus, I get cold easily.)

Fast forward past college, and I still love them. I'm always eager to add a new one to my collection!

I also have a thing for being comfy-cozy (or comph as Michael and I call it around our house.) At home movie night bundle up in blankets? Yes please! Bundling up with a scarf at the slightest hint of cold? Definitely!

The past couple weeks, though, I've done a lot more thinking about how I want other people to feel comfy-cozy, too.

Last week my whole family (dad, mom, sister, and brother) came down and stayed in our apartment for five days. It was wonderful to have them all here! (My mom is the only one who had visited Charleston previously.) While they were here I, of course, wanted us all to have fun, but I also wanted everyone to feel comfortable and at ease.

Maybe it's because I've be re-reading Bread & Wine recently, but making others feel at ease (which is a type of comfy-cozy, in my opinion) has been on my mind a lot. Whether it's extra blankets so that my sister didn't freeze while we waited for the maintenance man to come fix our heater, a cup of chamomile tea to help someone feel relaxed and sleepy before bed, or making sure I recommend places to eat while we're out that meet everyone's dietary needs, I want the people around me to feel like they are thought of and their needs are heard.

Comfy-cozy can be a literal comfort - like that extra blanket or a full belly. It can also be that at-ease feeling we get when we know we are loved and accepted by another person. A feeling of welcome and care. A piece of compassion.

Think about it, we all know what it's like when we know a friend has been thinking of us enough to remember a small, often trivial detail about us. This detail can be anything from a favorite scent to a food allergy or even a favorite color. When we know these things are remembered, we often feel much more loved than when someone gives us a gift just for the sake of a gift.

Some of my favorite gifts have been things that people got me "because it was yellow" (my favorite color) or "because it had a bird on it." These things are often small (a yellow cat planter and a lip balm in an owl shaped container are two items that come to mind), but they mean a lot because the person took the effort to think of you. Thoughts like that are one thing that makes me feel very comfy-cozy.

Those are the feelings I want people to feel when they come into my home or spend any amount of time with me. The care and acceptance that they can be at ease and their opinions matter.

Now, a word to the fellow perfectionists out there, these little touches can often take a little extra effort because they entail remembering minute details about the people we surround ourselves with. If you're like me, you want to remember all of these details and cram them all in to one gift or one get together so that you can present that person with the best, most complete feeling of comfy-cozy when you're with them. But, friends, that isn't necessary. Not one bit. The beautiful thing about these efforts is that making even one gesture speaks volumes to the other person because they are such minute details.

So choose one, and then the next time choose another. Or choose the one most relevant to the outing. Are you going out to eat? Do they have food allergies? Then choose somewhere they can eat, or call ahead to make sure there are options for them. Are they staying at your house? Do they get cold easily? Pile a couple extra blankets at the end of their bed for them to use if needed. Think of it as more opportunities to love on the people around you. At least, that's what I'm trying to do.

I guess the main point of all this is that, I want others to feel comfy-cozy around me. Just like how we all feel when we get to bundle up in a sweater and sip our favorite warm beverage. How do you want people to feel when they spend time with you?

​Outfit Details
Sweater: Urban Outfitters  |  Jeans: The Loft (similar)  |  Shoes: Minnetonka Moccasins
Glasses: 'Fairmount' by Bonlook  |  Necklace: Lowcountry Eclectic (similar)
Location: Park Circle, North Charleston

How do you want to make others feel while they're around you? What is something that makes you feel comfy-cozy?